wednesday smiles pretty.

Today was happy and i can’t really explain why. Perhaps it was the green smoothie i tried out and loved, or that immediately following the smoothie, i learned how to wield. Maybe it’s because i saw a buddy for the first time in two years when i walked into my personal finance class, or maybe because the teacher was amiable and funny. It could definitely be because this is the first semester that i’ve loved every last one of my classes, or the strange combination of giddy and determination i feel when thinking of my future as a designer/artist. but most likely it’s that as i walked out of my final class of the day,i could smell laundry in the late summer air.

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allie brown {t0t3$ h@p$ birth$}

this week we celebrate this lovely.she’s the apartment mom, my best friend, and my roommate. She hasn’t been on the blog lately, so here is an overload of our celebration for her, in our favorite way… foooooood 🙂 on thursday all us roommates went shopping and got pfchangs. When Allie and i were restocking on make up/getting ours done by the two coolest girls ever, they actually got allie to wear lipstick! WHAT?!?! the next day we made allie breakfast–NOM NOM, later Sarah and i roasted peeps, and added some nutella. then we embarked on a Jdawg adventures (which we tried to convince aaron and stephen to accompany us to). next up, we’ve got quotes galore from our night out!

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to whom it may concern.

you taught me how to love. you taught me that to love another you must love yourself. you taught me that second chances don’t always happen  when you want them to–sometime they don’t happen at all. you taught me that loving someone can be easy. and that falling out of love can be equally as hard. I suppose most importantly and probably inadvertently you taught me patience and faith.  you taught me to be patient with myself.  i won’t always make the right choices. i won’t always say the right thing. i may change my mind about what i think i need. but faith in love will always be there to catch me when i fall.  I’ve learned that although people change, memories don’t. and that’s what i’m holding dear.

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yellow pages.

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”  -Captain Corelli Mandolin sometimes my thoughts are monopolized by painful memories of silly voices, whispered discoveries, and masquerades.  but it gets easier. it always does. boys break your heart, you pick it up and you move forward. you hold it close and entrust it more and more hesitantly […]

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falling.

Today, i realized something. God has looked out for me. I have been the recipient of so much positive energy it has blown me away. Yes, i have terrible-awful-pain-my-chest-hold-in-my-tears-i’m-such-a-girl moments, but my days seem to be filled with an increasing amount of optimism and i can’t thank Him enough. I’ve had so many people who don’t even know what their kind words, and positivity have meant to me.  It’s hard to have faith, but it’s become so much easier. Right now my  internal struggle is trying not to be afraid of dating, i’m just so awkward sometimes haha. But what i have learned is that faith and fear cannot reside in the same place, so i’m trying hard not to be afraid of becoming a crazy cat lady. here’s to moving on.

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forget me not, my dear, my darling.

Hey you, yes you in the glasses. Forget it. I know you’ve had a rough week. I know it’s been tough. I know you feel forgotten. I know you feel like every summer night was an empty promise. I know Nostalgia is back crueler than ever. I know it hurts when someone who made you feel so special yesterday makes you feel a dime a dozen today. I know you feel replaced. I know you’re scared.  Forget it. ….but seriously, forget it. You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You are talented.  you are such a catch. It’s okay to believe in love again. Whatever you do, don’t please don’t forget that.

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Heyo! today is wednesday, that means tomorrow is basically my friday cause it’s my last day of classes.  YAY! I finally made a to do list yesterday and dedicated myself to finishing it. Usually that is not a huge feat for me, but it’s been kinda hard to be motivated lately.  [however, can i just remind us all how good it feels to check something off a to do list?!?!?!]  Monday Melissa and I had to give the Lesson for FHE  (for those who don’t know what that is, it stands for Family Home Evening, and since at college our families are gone, we are divided into “families” amoung the other singles in our congregation and every week we have an activity and/or a lesson, it’s kinda awesome actually).   We based our less on Ian S. Ardern’s talk called A Time to Prepare. Basically it helped me realize that […]

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This is super weird, i’ved posted something to my blog THREE days in a row. I gotta say i like this little habit that is starting to form. and i’m hoping you like it too. Today it rained, Provo finally cooled down. The rain couldn’t have come at a better time for me. In my weird poetic mind, i feel like it was just waiting on me. Because my eyes finally did some raining today.  And though i had more of a woe-is-me-love-sucks reason to cry, i realized it was more of a man-this-hurts-my-heart-really-bad-but-i’m-going-to-trust-God-cause-he-seems-to-be-telling-me-loud-and-clear-that-something-better-is-in-store-for-mekind of reasons to let my eyes rain. Today we talked about receiving personal revelation in my Mission Prep Class.  One thing that struck a chord with me was knowing that when God tells you you’re on the right track, it’s usually him bringing your heart in conjuction with your mind. He did that for me today. […]

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i’m not dead yet.

Hey there all you people! So I almost decided to start from scratch and create a whole new blog, but I decided to stick with what I had and just change the title. So this is a new post! Oh I bet you’re so excited, you have nothing else to do but read about Emma Vidmars life? k cool, I was hoping you’d say that. Come on in, let me tell you what’s up. First things first, I’m still alive and creepin, no worries there. Lets cover all the basics. Boys, Work, Church, Friends, and Future. Sounds like a good idea? I knew you’d agree. So here we go! Boys. Oh boy…the boy situation. Bet you would be surprised if I said it was non-existent? K good. Same old story. Always in the friend zone. The past few months have been pretty fun, I’ve had a few little fetus crushes […]

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