There is a certain distrust in the unknown, as if we do not trust our own ability to adapt. For some, it is something that brings excitement. For those of us in which this unkown bewitches, we are always willing to persuade others to dive in. Jumping and in hand, the drop is exhilarating and the potential for greatness is infinite. Sure there’s a possibility it may end in misery but the what if it ends in inexplicable joy? I have learned to not fear the unknown, rather understand that the inability to see ahead means you can’t expect more out of what it than it is. It can present itself as itself. It forces you to be completely present. Let it exist, you must coexist. Let it pass through you without presumption
If we’re being honest, my life is once again most easily described by a taylor swift song. I suppose thats just a side affect of being human, amiright?? *thanks taylor swift for creating 1989, and also for writing the song Bad Blood* It’s been a rough semester for me, not even academically, schools been great actually. but in basically every other facet of my life. a bubbling mess of a laughable love life, betrayal and lost friendships. It’s been one for the books, and I’m so very ready to put the book down, and start a better one. Honestly most the time I feel like I’m just going through the motions, being polite because I don’t know how to be malicious, and hoping I’ll be in a different country next semester. (side note, I just applied for an internship across the world. So.) Thanksgiving came a just the right […]
Hello friends. so if we’re being honest, I’m scared of writing too much on this blog because i’m really not that great of a writer, but nevertheless there is more to me and this blog than pretty pictures. I have a had a rough couple weeks. I expected springtime to be a time where i could relax and breath but it’s turned out i’m really barely holding on and breathing like a renaissance woman in a corset. I don’t have a cute husband that I can brag about and tell you how he makes my day better or something, but I do have myself. I’ve found ways to make me happy the past few days. It’s an interesting process to de-stress myself. I have to keep looking forward for the good days ahead. For instance, i leave for Europe two weeks from Sunday. I’m so excited for the surreal feeling […]
with 30,000 people at this school you wouldn’t think that as many people know eachother. I’m finding that just about everyone knows everyone. thanks facebook. my favorite photoshoot was in a wheatfield, and common courtesy mandates i don’t post them. i’m justalittlebitkindasortaextremelyhugely excited to be essentially backpacking through Europe this summer. i am incapable of climbing out of the friend zone. awesome, thanks adolescence for teaching me nothing. most weekend nights i have the apartment to myself (see previous statement) which means a lot of upside down couch sitting in silence, my own form of mediation. i hate when i complain on the internet, this world is negative enough without my additions. for that i am sorry.
stop demanding to be taking seriously. i would very much appreciate: my head to not hurt every day, time to actually run, a genuine converstation, a heart flutter, silly voices, a nap.
ever had a moment where you made yourself happy all by yourself? like no body did it for you? sometimes we need a push, a new outlook, or a heartbreak.but if there is one thing i learned this year,it’s that i can make myself happy. when i came back to BYU this year, i was fresh out of a relationship–the first one in 3 years.my last night home we both cried.the tears were a little pathetic honestly–but it was good to remember how to love someone elseand remember in turn–how to love myself.after we broke up, it was hard.buuuuuuuuuuut it gave me this fabulous opportunity to grow up.i learned how to become a better personand i matured more than i ever have before.I got so content with the person i am now,(as opposed to the person i was when i left spokane)that when i saw him again,everything was okay, exactly […]
When i was in middle school i used to read and reread Sean Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective teens (look at little Ms Overacheiver here…) and one thing that i always think about from it, is something called a paradigm shift. a a paradigm is another word for perceiving something. and a paradigm shift is perceiving things in another way. Anyway enough of the boring stuff, let me tell you why that is important. I have had a Paradigm shift, something snapped and everything is just SO GOOD right now. Let me guess, you were getting annoyed with sad Emma in my recent posts, well guess what? ME TOO. never fear. like i said, something snapped and all the sudden i can’t think of anything that would make me sad. Even those things that were making me sad two days ago… nothing. Let me tell you about the past […]
Today, i realized something. God has looked out for me. I have been the recipient of so much positive energy it has blown me away. Yes, i have terrible-awful-pain-my-chest-hold-in-my-tears-i’m-such-a-girl moments, but my days seem to be filled with an increasing amount of optimism and i can’t thank Him enough. I’ve had so many people who don’t even know what their kind words, and positivity have meant to me. It’s hard to have faith, but it’s become so much easier. Right now my internal struggle is trying not to be afraid of dating, i’m just so awkward sometimes haha. But what i have learned is that faith and fear cannot reside in the same place, so i’m trying hard not to be afraid of becoming a crazy cat lady. here’s to moving on.
This is super weird, i’ved posted something to my blog THREE days in a row. I gotta say i like this little habit that is starting to form. and i’m hoping you like it too. Today it rained, Provo finally cooled down. The rain couldn’t have come at a better time for me. In my weird poetic mind, i feel like it was just waiting on me. Because my eyes finally did some raining today. And though i had more of a woe-is-me-love-sucks reason to cry, i realized it was more of a man-this-hurts-my-heart-really-bad-but-i’m-going-to-trust-God-cause-he-seems-to-be-telling-me-loud-and-clear-that-something-better-is-in-store-for-mekind of reasons to let my eyes rain. Today we talked about receiving personal revelation in my Mission Prep Class. One thing that struck a chord with me was knowing that when God tells you you’re on the right track, it’s usually him bringing your heart in conjuction with your mind. He did that for me today. […]
Hey there all you people! So I almost decided to start from scratch and create a whole new blog, but I decided to stick with what I had and just change the title. So this is a new post! Oh I bet you’re so excited, you have nothing else to do but read about Emma Vidmars life? k cool, I was hoping you’d say that. Come on in, let me tell you what’s up. First things first, I’m still alive and creepin, no worries there. Lets cover all the basics. Boys, Work, Church, Friends, and Future. Sounds like a good idea? I knew you’d agree. So here we go! Boys. Oh boy…the boy situation. Bet you would be surprised if I said it was non-existent? K good. Same old story. Always in the friend zone. The past few months have been pretty fun, I’ve had a few little fetus crushes […]